Instagram and Other Social Media

We started NYSB Instagram in 2015 at the urging of ML.  I resisted, because hey that's what I do, but eventually caved and I kind of like it. More emphasis on pics than words.

Last night I fell down the clickbait rabbit hole on my phone and found some troublesome stuff.  

It seems hard to resist letting your kid do it. Our daughter is on IG (private) and something called Squishy Amino.  We do monitor it closely. Amino seems harmless to me, IG not as much. Most concerned about girls and body image.

The genie is out of the bottle, I don't see any way to go back on social media as a society. Like any powerful tool it can do good or evil. I have to admit I don't understand how you can post the same selfie a 1000 times and get a million followers, even if you are spectacular looking.

Post stories of your experience. I'm not looking for memes and any horrifying pictures and any will be deleted.

Links are ok, I guess, maybe with a warning if they are disturbing or risky.

Without kids, I can't really comment on Harv's main point. I am pretty active on Facebook, plus hold an admin key my work FB page. Thankfully, a colleague manages it and responds to most of the inane questions. I just chime in from to time and correct his spelling.

What really blows my mind is how asking questions seems to have replaced doing research. This happens in forums as well, but really is popular on Facebook. People seem to prefer to ask an audience of strangers a question that could be easily answered by doing a quick search. Then, when some moron answers with often incorrect information, the OP seems satisfied thanks the responder profusely and carries on. Unbelievable.

Like Sick Bird Rider I have no kids so not much help there.

I did give up on FB about 4 years ago. I just couldn't take the drama anymore. I would get people asking me why I didn't accept their friend request and stooopid shit like that. Geesh, I don't miss that.

I am on IG. I like it because as Harv said it's mainly all about pics and a quick caption. I do have a private account cause there are just too many freaks out there. And I don't post selfies . Some I follow that are on here are NYSB, RA, and Broski.

Unfortunately, like Harv, I think this "stuff" is here to stay. For some these social outlets it seems to consume them and that can't be healthy no matter what it is.

I still like talking on the phone to my friends, that too is lost. Buddy of mine called the other day and said, "Hey I git this new app on my phone called a phone and decided to use it" ---- LOL

I originally  got on Instagram solely to monitor my kids’ behavior on there but it’s a futile effort. With all the various messaging apps, multiple IDs and everything else, it’s extremely hard to know if you’re seeing everything. I’ve given up and put my effort into interrogating them face to face on a regular basis. On the other hand if I got the scent of them being involved in any really bad shit, I would go full surveillance state on them- spying software, key stroke recorders, the whole nine yards. “Look Junior! I got a deal on a brand new iPhone 11! You want it?”

At this point I enjoy Instagram way more then Facebook for all the reasons you guys mentioned. SBR’s Point about people preferring to ask a crowd of random strangers questions rather then do their own research is spot on. I joined a bunch of local parents groups based on our town, schools etc... I’m constantly amazed by the dumb crap people post on there. It’s the height of laziness.

Sick Bird Rider wrote

. People seem to prefer to ask an audience of strangers a question that could be easily answered by doing a quick search. Then, when some moron answers with often incorrect information, the OP seems satisfied thanks the responder profusely and carries on. Unbelievable.

I think you answered your own concern.

The reason that people ask questions is that there are a lot of morons out there with incorrect information, and they don't know what information to trust. So asking a question and getting a dialogue is the best they can hope for.

Even if someone is completely wrong, it might be helpful to see it from another side or to see other people smack down the wrong info and give the reasoning behind the smackdown.

Like Brownski, I originally got Instagram (my first social media app) in 2013 because my daughter was pulling the “everybody has it except me” thing. So I got it to check it out and it happened to be right before we took a cross country road trip.  Instagram turned out to be a perfect visual travelogue. When we got back from the trip we let her get it. She is now a freshman in college and now barely uses Instagram (probably because so many of her “old” relatives are on it) and has moved on to snap, tik tok, and who tf knows what all else to communicate with peers. (As we all would at 18)

I like that you cannot post links, except in your bio.  I do pine for the early days when every 4th post in my feed wasn’t an ad.  And since I mostly follow people my own age (as well as corporate type accounts) it tends not to be heavy on selfies.

It comes in handy for meme battles with Johnny.

Also, I think sooooo many people don’t even use a web browser on their phone. Everything is app based. And that’s why lots of people have no research skills and rely on crowd sourcing. And that’s why the anti-vaxx and flat earth society has grown.

Lots can be figured out with Google.  I like asking stupid? questions  because I like the convo.  I do get the "look it up moron" stuff and I  accept it. Because  hey those people are right.

Harvey wrote

.  I do get the "look it up moron" stuff and I  accept it. Because  hey those people are right.

Are they, though?

Like, with charged questions, you can't just Google things. Try to get useful information on, say, IQ differences across races, or the proper taxation level for a country/state/city to have.

Conversation (& "Show and Tell") has been the basis of human interaction for centuries. We *just* got all of the world's information at our fingertips like 10-15 years ago. There are gonna be some hiccups as civilization adjusts to the change.

MC2 5678F589 wrote

Harvey wrote

.  I do get the "look it up moron" stuff and I  accept it. Because  hey those people are right.

Are they, though?

Like, with charged questions, you can't just Google things. Try to get useful information on, say, IQ differences across races, or the proper taxation level for a country/state/city to have.

Conversation (& "Show and Tell") has been the basis of human interaction for centuries. We *just* got all of the world's information at our fingertips like 10-15 years ago. There are gonna be some hiccups as civilization adjusts to the change.

MC2, I agree with you that some discussion might be useful (and entertaining) in getting an answer to a more complex question, like say "who should I vote for in the next election?" but I am referring to super simple questions like "how much is a camping permit at Jellystone Park?" I am certain that Jellystone Park has a website where they display such information.

I could go on about this, since a big part of my job is answering questions. In my experience, the people who ask the best questions have already done some research. As Brownski pointed out upthread, people who ask dumb questions are just lazy. Or dumb. Or both. Guess what, tourist season is winding down and I am a little tired of answering questions!

witch hobble wrote

Also, I think sooooo many people don’t even use a web browser on their phone. Everything is app based. And that’s why lots of people have no research skills and rely on crowd sourcing. And that’s why the anti-vaxx and flat earth society has grown.

Probably a tangent, but I think too few people these days get to know the basics of computers and software. I was fortunate to have grown up in the 80s and 90s. Learning basic commands via a command line was just something you had to do. If you wanted to have a web presence, you needed to learn HTML and eventually CSS and PHP. While I foresaw technology eventually becoming easy enough for older people to use without learning the basics, it blew my mind when I realized younger people were not learning the basics and some get to college having primarily relied only on their phone for "computing".

Here is a good one from work... you would not believe how many people do not understand the difference between a Google search and typing in a URL. We utilize short URLs at work for promotions. People will type the short URL into the search bar and not understand why Google or their iPhone do not pull up the page. It is shocking when that happens with a younger person of college age.

Any ways, I have no kids. But if I did, I would think the strategy should be to assume kids are going to get into trouble and try to arm them will skills, tools, and understanding so they can make good judgments more often than not and be able to learn from making mistakes. The trick is not to control too much because then they get to college (I see this every single day at work) and they do not have basic skill sets to function away from home. If you remove their ability to make good decisions when they are younger, you remove their ability to make good decisions when they are older. Easier said from a non-parent than done, I am sure.

riverc0il wrote

Any ways, I have no kids. But if I did, I would think the strategy should be to assume kids are going to get into trouble and try to arm them will skills, tools, and understanding so they can make good judgments more often than not and be able to learn from making mistakes. The trick is not to control too much because then they get to college (I see this every single day at work) and they do not have basic skill sets to function away from home. If you remove their ability to make good decisions when they are younger, you remove their ability to make good decisions when they are older. Easier said from a non-parent than done, I am sure.

It's certainly possible to let kids learn safely by getting them started early and by letting them make mistakes.  But much easier when the parents are geeks at some level.

I started my daughter on touch typing before 1st grade.  It was an easy game for someone who was also learning to play the piano.  Got her an email address by 4th grade, mostly connecting with relatives.  As a few of her classmates got email and used CC: to all their friends inappropriately for chain letters, we talked about why that was a bad idea.  When she was 13, I created a Facebook account for her even though she wasn't really interested yet.  I knew her password and could see what she was posting on FB page.  I'm not a big FB user, but know enough (hate the interface).  We talked about how to decide to accept someone as a FB Friend.  The example of what not to do was her cousin, 10 years older.  He had 2000 FB Friends by college, partially because he was on the football team at his large public high school and generally a popular guy.  I asked her if she thought he knew those 2000 people well.  She said "no."  I watched her FB without every posting for quite a few years.  When she was ready, I would Like a post every now and then but kept a low profile.  I had nothing to worry about by the time she went to high school.

What amazed me was how many parents at my daughter's elementary school thought the best approach was to keep their kids off the Internet until they were in middle school.  Back then few kids got their own cell phone until 5th or 6th grade and smart phones were very rare.  The first iPhone came out in 2007.

The shift to smartphones for everyone, young and old, has happened really fast.

I have one simple rule that I strictly enforce- no exceptions: “if it’s ok with your friends’ parents it’s ok with me.”

Harvey wrote

Like any powerful tool it can do good or evil. I have to admit I don't understand how you can post the same selfie a 1000 times and get a million followers, even if you are spectacular looking.

Anti-social media, like the internet itself, is a megaphone of society.  Your results will likely return your intent.

Brownski wrote

I have one simple rule that I strictly enforce- no exceptions: “if it’s ok with your friends’ parents it’s ok with me.”

That'll lead to no good very quickly. So many parents these days have no freakin idea what their little angels are up to. Or if they do, they are too self absorbed in their own lives to care. This is why a huge number of kids started vaping at 12-14  years old. It's why 12-13 year olds get drunk in their parents basement with their friends with their parents literally right upstairs. It's why teens who seem like good kids end up bullying classmates online. Parents don't want to put in the effort to be parents when it's so much easier to just let the kids do what they want and pretend it's not happening.

Then when little snowflake gets snagged for doing something shitty or even illegal, blind parent steps up and gets them out of trouble as quickly as possible. If you don't believe me, go talk to teachers and school administrators. Parents act like assholes and bullies to them in order to get their kids to skate free on all sorts of shit.

As for social media - it's mostly a complete nightmare. Facebook and Instagram is a place for moms to out-mom each other, and for attention whores to tell the world how awesome they and their lives are. Most social media is a cesspool.

And for most of us, myself included, our kids are way more tech savvy than we are. Mine are 19 and almost 21 now so it's not as if I monitor them anymore, but even when I did they were always one step ahead of me mostly.

Spot on Billy !!

The bane of developing any sort of meaningful emotional intelligence in a kid is : Helicopter Parents , who rush in to "solve " the most mundane of issues and preclude learning from one's mistakes .

Parenting inho is more Art than Science , it is PROSE , not Poetry .
Positive reinforcement ABSOLUTELY , BUT only when performance is on target , otherwise redirection .
One should not praise suboptimal performance , simply redirect and let them try again .
Trophies for participation is Nonsense .

I was joking of course.

My experience with raising kids is several generations old and my experience with grand kids is a little newer but not current.

Social media is the latest thing. Teaching your kids to think for themselves, be responsible for their choices and choose their friends wisely is timeless.

PeeTex wrote

Teaching your kids to think for themselves, be responsible for their choices and choose their friends wisely is timeless.

Spot on. It takes work, but it's well worth the effort.

Brownski - so my rant was for naught? haha

billyymc wrote

PeeTex wrote

Teaching your kids to think for themselves, be responsible for their choices and choose their friends wisely is timeless.

Spot on. It takes work, but it's well worth the effort.

Brownski - so my rant was for naught? haha

It was good though

I'd venture a safe guess that all who are on here are great parents to their kids. It really has to be tough to be a kid these days as there are so many more and different distractions than when I/we were kids.

Good on all youZ guys