Lame Joke

DackerDan wrote

TD - just consider it more Geek humor

 

SBR:  what about the one you told me a while back....

What did Sushi A say when he met Sushi B????

"Wasa-B?"

Okay, I just remembered another SBR one liner....

"..........so this dyslexic walks into a bra....."



TD

Telemark Dave wrote

Okay, I just remembered another SBR one liner....

"..........so this dyslexic walks into a bra....."



TD

Tip of the iceberg. Don't get me going!

HA!!! ^^^

so did u hear the one about the weather were having,,its not funny at all

outlaw 1 wrote

so did u hear the one about the weather were having,,its not funny at all

i have a non-holiday pass HAHA

A guy walked into a crowded bar, waving his 1911 Colt
 45 with an 8 shot magazine, and yelled, "Who in here has
 been screwing my wife?"
 
A voice from the back of the bar yelled back, "You
 need more ammo."
 
Just another fine example of why it should be legal to
 own high-capacity magazines

The guy comes home from his job at the pickle factory looking all depressed. His wife looks at him and asks, "What's the matter, Hon?"

"I got fired."

"What? You've worked there for 17 years. Why on earth would you get fired?"

"Well...I stuck my weenie in the pickle slicer."

"What??? Are you OK? Did something happen to the pickle slicer and that's why you got fired?"

"She got fired too."

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple was involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting they began to wonder; Could they possibly get married in Heaven?

When St. Peter arrived they asked him if they could get married in heaven. St. Peter said, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out," and he left.

The couple sat and waited for an answer... for a couple of months.

While they waited, they discussed the pros and cons. If they were allowed to get married in Heaven, should they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all? "What if it doesn't work? Are we stuck in Heaven together forever?"

Another month passed. St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled.

"Yes," he informed the couple, "You can get married in Heaven."

"Great!" said the couple "But we were just wondering; what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard on the ground.

"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple.

"OH, COME ON!!!" St. Peter shouted. "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take to find a lawyer?"

That was a good one, Doc.


It's officially almost ski season ---- Doc is back

Yup.  Keep 'em coming Doc..
TD

Sister Mary entered the Monastery of Silence.
The Priest said;"Sister, this is a silent monastery. You are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until directed to do so."

Sister Mary lived in the monastery for 5 years before the Priest said to her, "Sister Mary, you have been here for 5 years. You may speak two words."
Sister Mary said, "Hard bed."
"I'm sorry to hear that," the Priest said, "We will get you a better bed."
After another 5 years, Sister Mary was summoned by the Priest.
"You may say another two words, Sister Mary."
"Cold food," said Sister Mary, and the Priest assured her that the food would be better in the future.
On her 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Priest again called Sister Mary in to his office. "You may say two words today."
"I quit," said Sister Mary.
"It's probably best," said the Priest, "You've done nothing but bitch since you got here.

John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmick. His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change. One day John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector. It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son, returned home from school. Tommy was over 2 hours late. "Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?" asked John.

"Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project," said Tommy. The robot then walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair. "Son," said John, "this robot is a lie detector. Now tell us where you really were after school."

"We went to Bobby's house and watched a movie." said Tommy. "What did you watch?" asked Marsha. "The Ten Commandments," answered Tommy. The robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him off his chair once more. With his lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, "I am sorry I lied. We really watched a tape called Sex Queen."

"I am ashamed of you son," said John. "When I was your age, I never lied to my parents."
The robot then walked around to John and delivered a whack that nearly knocked him out of his chair. Marsha doubled over in laughter, almost in tears and said, "Boy, did you ever ask for that one! You can't be too mad with Tommy. After all, he is your son!" With that the robot immediately walked around to Marsha and knocked her out of her chair.

Two washed up race car drivers, are drinking in a bar. One says, "Did you know that Elks have sex 10 to 15 times a day?"

"Aww, Fuck !" says his friend, "and I just joined the Knights of Columbus!"

A priest, an imam and a rabbi walk into a bar.....the bartender says, "is this a joke?"

What’s the difference between Santa Claus and a bartender?
















Santa Claus only has to look at eight assholes.

D.B. Cooper wrote

A priest, an imam and a rabbi walk into a bar.....the bartender says, "is this a joke?"

DrSkimeister wrote

What’s the difference between Santa Claus and a bartender?
















Santa Claus only has to look at eight assholes.

Now that was funny!!!