Lame Joke

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Re: Lame Joke

DrSkimeister
It's funny how fallin' feels like flyin', even for a little while
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Re: Lame Joke

warp daddy
😄😜😜
Life ain't a dress rehearsal: Spread enthusiasm , avoid negative nuts.
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Re: Lame Joke

dmc_hunter
How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Not 5 because my basement's still dark
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Re: Lame Joke

dmc_hunter
knock knock...

Who's there?

911

911 who...

((short pause)) You told me you'd never forget....
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Re: Lame Joke

dmc_hunter
A priest and a Rabbi are walking down the street past a group of young boys....

Priest says "Check out those boys - I'd like to fkuc them"

Rabbi says "Fukc em???? Fkcu em out of what?
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Re: Lame Joke

D.B. Cooper
How does a snowboarder introduce himself?








"Sorry about that, dude."
Sent from the driver's seat of my car while in motion.
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Re: Lame Joke

dmc_hunter
How about a new joke...?  
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Re: Lame Joke

Johnnyonthespot
Which of the following names are you familiar with ?

1) Monica Lewinsky

2) Bill Clinton

3) Obama

4) Adolf Hitler

5) Jorge Bergoglio

6) Anthony Weiner

7) Vladimir Putin

8) Linda Lovelace

9) Saddam Hussein

10) Tiger Woods

 

You had trouble with # 5 , didn't you ?

You know all the liars , criminals , adulterers , sluts , and cheaters , but you don't know the Pope ?

Shame on you !!!
I don't rip, I bomb.
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Re: Lame Joke

witch hobble
Johnnyonthespot wrote
You know all the liars , criminals , adulterers , sluts , and cheaters , but you don't know the Pope ?

Shame on you !!!
Judge not
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Re: Lame Joke

billyymc
In reply to this post by Johnnyonthespot
Johnnyonthespot wrote
Which of the following names are you familiar with ?

1) Monica Lewinsky

2) Bill Clinton

3) Obama

4) Adolf Hitler

5) Jorge Bergoglio

6) Anthony Weiner

7) Vladimir Putin

8) Linda Lovelace

9) Saddam Hussein

10) Tiger Woods

 

You had trouble with # 5 , didn't you ?

You know all the liars , criminals , adulterers , sluts , and cheaters , but you don't know the Pope ?

Shame on you !!!
You left off Trump. He fits four of your five criteria. Nice attempt to spread the political shitstorm here, douche.
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Re: Lame Joke

Johnnyonthespot
Get over yourself. Nancy.
I don't rip, I bomb.
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Re: Lame Joke

ScottyJack
I bet you wear your dallas cowboy baseball cap on backwards.
I ride with Crazy Horse!
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Re: Lame Joke

Johnnyonthespot
Way to stick with the theme of the thread. I'll bet you wear pink #88 panties.
I don't rip, I bomb.
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Re: Lame Joke

ScottyJack
How much you want to bet there cowboy fan?
I ride with Crazy Horse!
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Re: Lame Joke

Johnnyonthespot
Not a Cowboy fan, guy.
I don't rip, I bomb.
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Re: Lame Joke

ScottyJack
Must be a patroit fan then. No way you root for the giants!
I ride with Crazy Horse!
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Re: Lame Joke

Johnnyonthespot
Just a little bit.
I don't rip, I bomb.
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Re: Lame Joke

ScottyJack
Oh man really?  You root for my NY 🏈 Giants??  
I ride with Crazy Horse!
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Re: Lame Joke

Johnnyonthespot
Have a nice weekend guys. I'll leave you with this corny joke.


While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the man.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the senator.

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises...

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter

is waiting for him.

"Now it's time to visit heaven."

So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."

The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. "I don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

The devil looks at him, smiles and says,

"Yesterday we were campaigning...... Today you voted."
I don't rip, I bomb.
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Re: Lame Joke

Johnnyonthespot
Savage.
I don't rip, I bomb.
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