Everything you said is 100% correct. Your concern with protecting your granddaughter Is valid You can't control all those people at the mountain but you can control where you go ski that's why I say go to a less populated ski area.. if you take a little personal responsibility for the safety of your family I think you can find Alternatives even if you might have to drive a little bit further it's not all about you.
So which places produce people with the best character?
I live an hour north of hunter and you cant even give me a ticket to that place. tried it midweek/weekends after major storms. it does not matter, full of assholes. and I love the east side of that place. I do most of my skiing at gore. platy and magic. used to ski hickory. major draw is terrain, the good vibe is just a bonus.