What is the most important part of an experience?

This quote got me thinking:

raisingarizona wrote

My Uncle told me a story about being at a game farm in Wyoming where a guy paid 4k to walk up to a bison and shoot from 10 feet away. That bison was like a pet that was hand fed by humans it's whole life.

Eccentric rich folks sure do seem confused on the aspects that make accomplishments special.

What aspects make accomplishments feel special?

Rich people love to do the "experience collecting" thing these days. I had 3 different friends on my Facebook feed vacationing in the Greek Islands last week.

But what is "special" about paying a bunch of money to go somewhere and have a very similar experience to every other tourist? What is "special" about shooting a pet bison?

And what defines the experience? How many miles should that guy have hiked, how many hours should he have spent hiding behind a rock, to get the true "bison hunting" experience?

I ask these questions as someone who had a staged "Stand up paddleboarding with the dolphins" thing in a large dolphin holding center in the Carribean, not the real, open water dolphins-in-the-wild experience.

And I also ask these questions as someone who will definitely pay tons of money to heli-ski from sick mountain peaks this winter if I win the Mega Millions tonight, bypassing the "real" experience of starting before dawn and slogging up 6,000 vertical feet to ski one run.

interesting question..

some questioned my "Guided climb of Mt Rainier" as not being a pure climbing experience..I can assure them it was a pure climbing experience..

I think an experience is an experience - good, bad, easy, hard... whatever.  It's what you make of it.

My wife and I had this argument for years about how we spent our time and money on "experiences".  She always wanted to do something exotic (and expensive) like going to Europe, etc.. and I was content to invest a little money in things that made our local experiences better i.e. boats, skis, bikes, camping gear, etc.  I was content to spend all my free time in the Adirondacks, out on my local trails, skiing my local hills.  With the investment of all my gear and a thought about what I was going to do with my time, I was able to spend very little for my experiences.

Perhaps I didn't get the wow factor of Greek Islands (believe it or not that was on our list at one time) or big mountains out west, but I did manage to use up almost all of my available free time doing something I enjoyed.  To me, that was the best experience.

I'd jump right onto that helicopter. Sign. Me. Up!

It's less of an experience when the focus is on the bragging rights, the social media update or the one upping at the water cooler than the actual experience and being in the moment. That's my personal, jaded opinion after working in tourism for some 20 or so years. You can see it, it's not about really being there, it's about the possession and ego satisfaction. We all do it to some degree but some do it to the point that I can't understand.

It's g-narcissist culture.

I think we can all be called this, particularly when people want to share that experience and it's easier now than ever. I know I have been called narcissistic, and agree that people can see it that way, though don't think I am as we are trying to share this experience even with others that we have met along the way (and at least fashion this into some form of story, a piece of art or journalism).

It's easy to say it is about collecting rather than experiencing and it easy to ridicule how someone may experience something versus how you would or can experience.  I have friends that go to India and stay in the best hotels, never walk in areas and have no clue about the cultures there.

When we go somewhere, we try to integrate best with the people there, walking on their sidewalks, hoods and or parks.   Both are experiences for sure - though one probably closer to the what most people avoid. Maybe that is a poor example to use, though I think you get my point.

Experiences need to be personal and need to evoke stories to tell. For us, its less about material (where we ate or hotel/home we stayed at) more substance (what we saw, who we interacted with, what we learned and or felt).

Definitely an interesting question.  I think motives have changed significantly over the past 25 years.  The experience is less personal now.  For the modern-day-constantly-connected attention whore, sharing the experience is just as, if not more, important than "experiencing" the experience.  The ability to digitally capture and share the experience in virtual real-time has no doubt fueled the meteoric rise of the "manufactured experience" market.  The rise of the Experience Monger... it doesn't matter how stupidly unreal the experience.... As long as I can share it.  Old-school rich folks buy stuff like Diamonds, Emeralds, and Yachts... new-schoolers enjoy target shooting with Pets that were grown specifically for their "hunting" pleasure.    

Obviously, it's different for everyone, but anything that takes place in a "gated" environment seems the opposite of any experience I would describe as real.  It seems that the more money you have, the less important reality becomes.  I guess it doesn't actually have to be real... If you've got the cash, I'm sure the latest VR-tech can totally take the reality out of the experience for you.  

For me, the experience is not "rewarding"  unless there is some type of mental/physical challenge.  Often, the best experiences I have had usually have a "low point."  When I was traveling in Colombia... I lost my passport in Medellin (low-point  )  We got strong armed in Cartagena by a group of cartel-thugs (lowest point  ).  I got my SCUBA cert.  I only had to stay an extra week to get my passport issues resolved.  All things considered, with lots of other crazy shit in between... a truly rewarding experience.

Who are we to say that target shooting with live targets is not rewarding for the guy doing the shooting?  I don't agree with it, but there is obviously a market for it... just like there is a market for ultra-violent video-games.  Is it really OK to enjoy (or even crave) the "virtual experience" of mass-murder?
 

My answer is pathetically simple.

I want a simple life. I want exercise. I want to be in the midst of big trees all year long. In winter I want feel natural snow under my skis. I want to experience all of these things in the company of a best friend.

These aren't really accomplishments, and this probably doesn't answer the question, but this is what I want from my life experience.

Harvey wrote

My answer is pathetically simple.

I want a simple life. I want exercise. I want to be in the midst of big trees all year long. In winter I want feel natural snow under my skis. I want to experience all of these things in the company of a best friend.

These aren't really accomplishments, and this probably doesn't answer the question, but this is what I want from my life experience.

You need to try hunting. It's more about the hunt than the kill. At least for me it is.

Harvey wins.

Don't you guys get burnt out on doing the same thing over and over again, though?

I, too, would like to live in the mountains, hike my local trails, ski my local ski area, bike my local bike park, & explore my local area more. And, to be fair, if people did this, they'd be perfectly fine. There are always more places to explore around you.

But I get pretty bored. I've probably biked at SMBA 200 times, skied Gore 800 times, driven my route to work 3,000 times. At a certain point, things stop becoming "experiences" and start to become routines. Hell, I've hiked Marcy 4 times, and I'm not sure I care to do it again.

Yeah, every time you do things, it's slightly different because of time of year, weather, etc. (I'd like to ski Marcy, for instance). I just feel like you can only play on the same playground for so long before you want to try a new playground.

So, yeah, I see the appeal of enjoying your local area.

I just want to change my local area a few times in my life. It'd be fun to live out west for a few years. Or live in New Zealand for a summer. Or live in a van from May-October. I think I'd enjoy those extended times more than quick, one-week vacations anyway.

Unfortunately, I didn't win the Mega Millions last night. $470 million on Tuesday, though!

Most important part of an experience......

For me it's more of who I'm with than the experience itself. At least it is now. Yeah sure there are places I'd like to go visit, and I hate to take the "been there done that route", but I guess that's where I am now.

Like Harv I like to keep it simple.

MC2 5678F589 wrote

Don't you guys get burnt out on doing the same thing over and over again, though? .... I just want to change my local area a few times in my life. It'd be fun to live out west for a few years. Or live in New Zealand for a summer. Or live in a van from May-October. I think I'd enjoy those extended times more than quick, one-week vacations anyway.

Property values are in free-fall out here... Mission Ridge is expanding...jobs are being created left and right... this could be a good opportunity to relocate while you're young and without children.

MC2 5678F589 wrote

Don't you guys get burnt out on doing the same thing over and over again, though?

I, too, would like to live in the mountains, hike my local trails, ski my local ski area, bike my local bike park, & explore my local area more. And, to be fair, if people did this, they'd be perfectly fine. There are always more places to explore around you.

But I get pretty bored. I've probably biked at SMBA 200 times, skied Gore 800 times, driven my route to work 3,000 times. At a certain point, things stop becoming "experiences" and start to become routines. Hell, I've hiked Marcy 4 times, and I'm not sure I care to do it again.

Yeah, every time you do things, it's slightly different because of time of year, weather, etc. (I'd like to ski Marcy, for instance). I just feel like you can only play on the same playground for so long before you want to try a new playground.

So, yeah, I see the appeal of enjoying your local area.

I just want to change my local area a few times in my life. It'd be fun to live out west for a few years. Or live in New Zealand for a summer. Or live in a van from May-October. I think I'd enjoy those extended times more than quick, one-week vacations anyway.

Unfortunately, I didn't win the Mega Millions last night. $470 million on Tuesday, though!

Sounds like you need to switch it up a bit.

Pack up your tent and take a few trips with your bike.  I should look at my Strava but I bet I've biked the same 30 miles of trails over 200 times in the last few years.  I actually don't get bored with them.  I switch them up in how I ride them and we are always building new stuff, so it changes from year to year.  I also take trips within a couple hours and that opens up another 60 miles of trail.  Despite being very similar, they are all different.  Put in a few overnight trips in the 4-5 hour range and you have something interesting.

Try adding some new experiences.  Instead of hiking Marcy for the 5th time, go bushwhack some smaller mountains.  Get out the map and compass and challenge yourself.  You might be surprised at how much more fun it is than hiking the Marcy highway.

Take up some new hobbies.  Do some backpacking trips.  Try canoe camping.  Maybe whitewater if that isn't your thing.

I honestly don't have enough free time to do all the things I want to do in New York.  I literally have a list (it's not a bucket list, I hate that term) but rather an exploration list of new things I want to do and places I want to visit.  Then I have my old favorites that bring me back.  I'm lucky to knock a few new things off that list a year because of that.  Some aren't that great, some are awesome and go on to my favorites list.  But they are all experiences and you don't know unless you try.

I think skiing here is the toughest.  It's very easy to get bored with man-made snow and our ski areas.  In western/southern/central NY, I feel like it's even worse.  Everything skis pretty much the same.  All the hills have similar pitches and aren't mountains with many features, so it's kind of all the same.  The best thing I can suggest is doing more touring and exploration on the skis and seeking out natural lines to ski.  Either that or take up some other winter hobbies.  Ice climbing?  Winter mountaineering?  Don't buy a season pass and just ski where you want to ski.  Ski less and take more trips to VT.  Maybe buy a fat bike - this has been nagging at me for the past few years and local bike junkies swear it's the solution.

There's always an answer.  You just have to open your mind more and be more creative with what you have.  If you are stuck in the rut of routine, then you need to think outside the box and try something new.

Or move.  Then your local becomes a new local.  For some, that's the easy way but I still feel I haven't exhausted NY and there's a lot of things tying me here.

Cunningstunts wrote

.  Put in a few overnight trips in the 4-5 hour range and you have something interesting.

I do this a lot. I'm at the Kingdom 2-4 times a year. Have ridden Maine, Mass, Western NY, etc.

Try adding some new experiences.  Instead of hiking Marcy for the 5th time, go bushwhack some smaller mountains.

Done it.

Take up some new hobbies.  Do some backpacking trips.

Done it.

Try canoe camping.

Do this a lot.

 Maybe whitewater if that isn't your thing.

Done a lot of rafting. Thought about getting into kayaking, but I don't have a ton of time to get into a new sport.

 It's very easy to get bored with man-made snow and our ski areas.  In western/southern/central NY, I feel like it's even worse.  Everything skis pretty much the same.  

Yep.

The best thing I can suggest is doing more touring and exploration on the skis and seeking out natural lines to ski.

Do this every winter

Either that or take up some other winter hobbies.  Ice climbing?  Winter mountaineering?  

I've thought about this (and Ice Climbed before), but these are 1-2 time a year things for me. I like skiing resorts.

Don't buy a season pass and just ski where you want to ski.  Ski less and take more trips to VT.

Did this a bunch last year & plan on doing it this year.

  Maybe buy a fat bike - this has been nagging at me for the past few years and local bike junkies swear it's the solution.

I like the idea, but I don't want to take away from skiing time.

There's always an answer.  You just have to open your mind more and be more creative with what you have.  If you are stuck in the rut of routine, then you need to think outside the box and try something new.

I'd love to. But I have a plan.

Or move.  Then your local becomes a new local.  For some, that's the easy way but I still feel I haven't exhausted NY and there's a lot of things tying me here.

Yep. Might have to.

nepa wrote

Property values are in free-fall out here... Mission Ridge is expanding...jobs are being created left and right... this could be a good opportunity to relocate while you're young and without children.

Hmmmm.... This sounds good.

I was actually thinking you might reply like you did MC2.  There's a lot of people like you who've "done it all" out here (I don't mean that in a negative way).  In all honesty, this area only offers so much.  I really like it, but when you look at the alternatives, it's pretty limited.  I thought about moving before I had kids, but decided to stay here for financial reasons (maybe not the best, but I've invested in NY and it's hard to leave now).

If you have the means, go.  The skiing sucks and it's only going to get worse.  That would be my #1 absolute priority for moving.  Everything else in terms of recreation is pretty easy to get around, but if you don't have snow, skiing fuckin' sucks.

Perhaps take a leave of absence from your job and spend a year traveling and finding out where you want to be.  Then just move there, and make it work.  That may mean working and doing something that is different than what you are doing and it'll probably be uncomfortable, but it's the best way.  If you let a career drag you around you'll never be happy on the other aspect of your life.  IMO there are two different types of people in this respect:  those who love their job and everything else is second and those whose job, even though it may be satisfying, is merely a means to an end.  An end of work.  I was definitely in the second camp my whole life.  But if you are willing to adapt and perhaps live on a lower income (again be creative and careful about location), you can make it happen.

All that will definitely cost some money and defer retirement, but you really have to decide if it's worth it to you stay somewhere and be in a rut or go somewhere you love and that is new and exciting and make the financials work.  I feel like this is the constant tradeoff people have who live in areas with great recreation.

I wouldn't bank on the mega millions.  Just sayin'.  Better to take action than wait on luck.

I'm different than most, I don't mind and actually like do the same things over and over.  I know that puts me in the minority, and it puts me at odds with much of the world. My wife is pretty understanding (very understanding) but she definitely would like to spend time and money traveling and doing different things.

For most people kids are really the big factor IMO.  If I didn't have a daughter I'd probably be living the same life I'm living now, but like I said I'm an exception. People want schools and all that stuff for their kids. I might retire a few years earlier with no kids, but not even sure about that.  I'm retiring at 65 not because I think I'll have enough money, but because I always planned to do that, and I'm not letting the gov't move that date back. Daughter will graduate HS that same year, so it seems like fate.

I don't think you have to worry about MC playing the lottery. He may do play, but at his core he's Mr Money Mustache.

I don't know what a Money Mustache is, but I think sometimes paying a little out now to figure out your life isn't a bad idea.  For all you know, you might be dead tomorrow - do you want to push forward with the thought that you are in a rut in hopes of something 20 years for now.

I'm not saying don't save some nuts for the future, but sometimes you have to reinvest in yourself to get there.

Cunningstunts wrote

I don't know what a Money Mustache is...

MMM:

https://www.mrmoneymustache.com/

Basically his philosophy is that you need way less to live on than you think. Don't let capitalism convince you that you need a bunch of shit. Save like crazy and retire early. I think(?) he retired at 35.

From what I see MC is having a lot of fun and saving like crazy.

It definitely helps not having kids. Before we had kids we were saving 35% of our income. Since then is more like 12%. Right after the meltdown of 2008 my pay was cut by more than 20% and it went down to 8%.

I lived on less than 30k a year for the last two years and that included purchasing two cars (used) and some recreational crap.

And that wasn't just me, that was a family of 5.

But what I was alluding to before is that if you are in a state like NY, when you have such a low income per capita, you don't have to pay much for health care and there are other social support system in place.

That was a very unique situation and I don't plan on doing it again until my wife and I retire, but at that point, I don't plan on having a mortgage or any kids to support.  We are now back up to a more substantial income, but we also plan on saving as much as we can so we are not in debt.  The only debt I have is my mortgage and the only debt my wife has is some student loans, which we hope to finish off in the next 5 years or so.  My plan is to buy my next house outright.

As far as my kids college, we haven't planned much.  I'm of the mind I'll help them with the living situation but I don't want to pay these ridiculous tuition rates.  I'll let them decide if they want to be smart about it or get themselves in debt, but we've decided we aren't going to get 3 extra mortgages to put them through an education that can be had for less than the cost of a new, compact car if done properly.  And I'm not of the mind that the education quality is any less, because I know for a fact the professors that teach at said schools make very similar salaries.

So we'll see.  But that is my Money Mustache.

As far as what I meant earlier, I think it applies uniquely to MC's particular situation.  If he feels bored and tired of this area, he'll need to invest some time and money to move, but if he chooses wisely, hopefully he'll be in a better situation for his pre-retirement years and enjoying his youth.  I'm not really into things, but rather things that can give me experiences.  I invest in those and spend very little on travel or other superfluous things.